Knowing That You’re an Energy Vampire- an Honest Attempt at a Non-Toxic Look at Energy Vampirism

Energy Vampire Graphic

The Friday prompt for this week’s @2019grimoirecchallenge deals with replenishing energy and, I’ve been chewing over how to write this post all week… mostly because I can’t find a lot of good literature on the topic, just a lot of “How to Get Rid of Energy Vampries” articles and stuff tied to the actual vampire subculture, which I really don’t want to attempt to speak for. That said, I’m going to wing it.

So first off, what IS an energy vampire? Simply put, it’s someone who feeds off the energy (be it psychic, emotional, sexual, etc. etc.) of others. People who are energy vampires do this for a number of reasons, a lot of the things you’ll see are about people who unconsciously do so. There might be some manner of mental or physical health issue that causes them to sort of latch on to other people’s energy. They might just be low-energy naturally. It might be something that is a passing phase in someone’s life. Others might do it intentionally, whether that be for malicious intent, because they have a consensual relationship with whomever they’re sharing energy with, because they are part of the aforementioned vampire subculture… The reasoning can be sort of endless.

How do you know that you ARE an energy vampire? Well, let me put it this way. Do you feel lethargic and low energy when not around other people? Do you catch yourself coming back to yourself, your experiences, your problems, etc. while talking to people, or have others pointed out that you tend to do this? Do people around you seem irritated, tired, on edge, etc. after you’ve spent time with them but you feel fantastic? Do you often feel kinda ‘blah’ and empty for long periods of time, but spend a few hours somewhere crowded or in a natural place with a lot of energy, and you suddenly have new life? Do you get restless to go places, just to be around other people, whether you’re interacting with them or not? Do you get caught in these self-victimizing, “woe is me” thought patterns? Then, chances are you might have some psychic vampire tendencies.

This can also be something brought about by psychic burnout. Symptoms vary, but can result in: migraines, light sensitivity, body aches, disorientation, etc. And I’m not talking about just the few hours after a particularly large working, I’m speaking something that lasts days.

Okay, so maybe I’m an energy vampire, what do? First of all, don’t panic over it. I’ve seen, in scrolling the internet trying to write this piece, seen some meditations that try to “cure” energy vampirism, telling you that you’re “awful for being a drain on your friends and family, and that you should just…stop doing that damn it.” And it just feels… toxic (which feels ironic given some of the super “love and light” fluffy websites I found these on, but I digress). SO, I’m going to try to give some helpful advice…

Regarding “recharging” because you can’t solve the issue while you’re feeling low/crappy: So. I absolutely do not advocate just taking energy from people without asking. If you’re going to share energy with someone (via whatever method you choose: physical touch, visualization, intimacy, charging an object and using said object, whatever) always always always ask first. Things I’ve noticed that have helped me personally are: holding crystals that have been charging on my altar (or lighting a candle and spending time in front of my altar reaching out to my gods for that matter), going out and connecting with a tree or other part of nature, or getting out of the house or whatever scenery you’ve been in and getting something to eat somewhere.

In the first few instances, you’re recharging with pools of energy that have developed because of your constant use of the spaces and the energy/spirits that you contact there. Obviously, harms no one, yeah?
Going somewhere out in nature also doesn’t drain other people though you should still ask trees and plants before you just go taking energy from them too. But they’re a lot more… sturdy than other people, usually, and I think this is a pretty low-impact way to recharge. You might even draw upon energy from the sun or moon too.

Now, going and getting food and eating somewhere where other people around allows you, for one, to get some nutrients in your body, increase your blood sugar, and such; but also allows you to sort of tap into what is usually referred to as “ambient energy,” that is, the energy of lots of people bustling about and going about their business. This is not drawing upon the energy of the people around you, but rather the energy of the PLACE you are in that is generated by their presence. This is important, because just drawing on other people you don’t know is shady and immoral.

My method for dealing with ambient energy is usually to find somewhere comfy to sit- if it’s by a window so I can soak up some sunlight energy all the better. I take a deep breath, maybe a couple bites of whatever delicious thing I’ve gotten, and then ground and center as best as I’m able. Then I focus on the energy of the place: is it buzzy and like TV static? Like waves that seem to ebb and flow? Then, kind of like I visualize energy from the earth or the sun flowing into my own during grounding and centering, I visualize whatever energy is around me doing the same until I feel like I at least have enough spoons to carry on with my day.

SLEEP is also something that helps a lot with this. After doing something that will help raise your energy a bit, nap if you can, because the body and your energy does replenish after sleep.

BUT, I’m not gonna stop there and I’m gonna give ya advice for not being the stereotypical psychic vampire. So, the biggest thing I think is to get to a place where you’re not feeling bogged down and energetically low yourself first. It’s a lot easier to get going on the rest of this work when you’re not running on E.

After that, though, I really want to emphasize taking time to identify what triggers this behavior in yourself. For me, it seems to flare up in times of stress, and is usually hand in hand with my depression episodes. I am cognizant of this, and can work to minimize the things that trigger the stress and anxiety. In my life, this has meant more careful planning, making sure I’m communicating my plans and feelings to the people I’m around so that if/when things go wrong I either have a plan B, or I’m not blindsided by it -which makes me less anxious; ya see where I’m going here? A big thing for me was also learning to drive, which makes me anxious, but makes me less reliant on other people, and will give me more freedom and control over my life in the long-term.

Another thing you’ll want to do (and this takes time but as long as you make an effort, I think that counts for something) is try to be aware of how you speak to other people and really listen to them if they tell you you’re being negative / toxic. Sometimes, my humor comes across as flippant and harsh. Sometimes I chuckle about a brainfart and then am compelled to correct people which can be hurtful and grating. I, like many, hear someone’s story, and will often jump in with my own example from my life. But by trying to take time and JUST listen to people’s stories, and stopping myself from adding my anecdote, or apologizing when I realize that I’ve come off as mean and judgmental, I work towards being less of a psychic vampire to the people I’m in contact with. Exercises in mindfulness and positive thinking can really work wonders in this case.

And finally, take care of your health! Go to see a therapist if you’re able. Make sure you’re taking care of your hygiene. Eat things that are healthy and nutritious. Keep your living environment clean. You would be surprised how much those things help!

So! That’s my little spiel. I am hoping this can help people who realize they’re draining to others recharge and maybe work towards becoming… less draining/drained themselves. And I’m hoping it’s less… cringe inducing than some of the other things floating around.

/|\ Rachel

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