Life, it seems, really does just continue whether you’re actively participating with it or not, doesn’t it? That’s of course not to say that I wasn’t living at all in the last year, but I certainly was doing so more reactively than anything else. I don’t need to waffle on about how difficult 2021 was; much like the year prior, it was an unparalleled mess that was handled poorly by people in charge. The best anyone could do was to do what had to be done and try and be mindful of how their actions could affect those around them. A disappointing number of people couldn’t even be kind enough to do that. And so this blog post is, really, more about me. An update. An insight into the last ten months or so since I last posted.
I’ll begin with probably the most noticeable thing, particularly if you have been following m blog and other social media platforms for some time: a small change of face and name. I had been questioning my gender identity long before even starting the Patchwork Crow blog. I let other people talk me out of it, talk me down, make what I was feeling smaller, insignificant, “crazy,” and I held onto this nagging inside about the person I wanted to be for years. This past summer, I was through with hiding and with pretending and just making things work. I came out as transgender and began hormone replacement therapy. So far, I have been blessed that most people in my life have been supportive and that I was able to find appropriate care that was accessible with my insurance. Too many others are not so fortunate. So you will be seeing posts, artwork, and videos (this is a maybe as it’s a large undertaking of having the inspiration, the time, and the space to record) signed off as Maxwell, and I prefer to use he/him/his pronouns. I will not be going back and altering all of my old posts. But going forward this is how I will be addressing myself, and asking to be addressed. If this is something you cannot welcome and support, then perhaps this blog is no longer a resource suitable to you.
Most of what I’ve been doing to keep busy in the past year or so has been art. I purchased an iPad early on in 2021, and it has dramatically changed the way I work. I’m not so fussed about Apple as a whole, but as a tool that enables me to work through the paralysis of undiagnosed mental illness, it has been completely invaluable. Artwork doesn’t have to include getting out a bunch of paints and pencils I’ll then have to put away. Writing up notes for Dungeons and Dragons can be done by hand still, but with images effortlessly annotated and attached.
My spiritual practice has taken a back burner. In a lot of ways, I think I needed to find myself again. A lot has changed in these past few years, on a larger scale, and personally. Art, storytelling, and having the space to myself to think has allowed me to do that. One project that has been really keeping going is the creation of a tarot deck: The Cottonwood Tarot.
It has allowed me to express my past, present, and hopes for the future. I’ve been able to explore my own identity, relationships, and connection to my path through the creation of this deck. As it stands now, it is nearly half completed, and I’m hoping to finish it by the end of 2022.
There will be, I hope, more to come. I’ve given the blog a fresh look to reflect the journey I’ve been on, and the itch to get involved and to share my work again is there. Hopefully this one sticks around a bit longer than the last.
Until next time,
Maxwell
The Patchwork Crow 