A Little Update~ Jan. 23rd, 2022

Life, it seems, really does just continue whether you’re actively participating with it or not, doesn’t it? That’s of course not to say that I wasn’t living at all in the last year, but I certainly was doing so more reactively than anything else. I don’t need to waffle on about how difficult 2021 was; much like the year prior, it was an unparalleled mess that was handled poorly by people in charge. The best anyone could do was to do what had to be done and try and be mindful of how their actions could affect those around them. A disappointing number of people couldn’t even be kind enough to do that. And so this blog post is, really, more about me. An update. An insight into the last ten months or so since I last posted.

I’ll begin with probably the most noticeable thing, particularly if you have been following m blog and other social media platforms for some time: a small change of face and name. I had been questioning my gender identity long before even starting the Patchwork Crow blog. I let other people talk me out of it, talk me down, make what I was feeling smaller, insignificant, “crazy,” and I held onto this nagging inside about the person I wanted to be for years. This past summer, I was through with hiding and with pretending and just making things work. I came out as transgender and began hormone replacement therapy. So far, I have been blessed that most people in my life have been supportive and that I was able to find appropriate care that was accessible with my insurance. Too many others are not so fortunate. So you will be seeing posts, artwork, and videos (this is a maybe as it’s a large undertaking of having the inspiration, the time, and the space to record) signed off as Maxwell, and I prefer to use he/him/his pronouns. I will not be going back and altering all of my old posts. But going forward this is how I will be addressing myself, and asking to be addressed. If this is something you cannot welcome and support, then perhaps this blog is no longer a resource suitable to you.

The Magician from The Cottonwood Tarot

Most of what I’ve been doing to keep busy in the past year or so has been art. I purchased an iPad early on in 2021, and it has dramatically changed the way I work. I’m not so fussed about Apple as a whole, but as a tool that enables me to work through the paralysis of undiagnosed mental illness, it has been completely invaluable. Artwork doesn’t have to include getting out a bunch of paints and pencils I’ll then have to put away. Writing up notes for Dungeons and Dragons can be done by hand still, but with images effortlessly annotated and attached.

My spiritual practice has taken a back burner. In a lot of ways, I think I needed to find myself again. A lot has changed in these past few years, on a larger scale, and personally. Art, storytelling, and having the space to myself to think has allowed me to do that. One project that has been really keeping going is the creation of a tarot deck: The Cottonwood Tarot.

The Emperor

Temperance

Page of Wands

Knight of Swords

King of Cups

10 of Swords

The Lovers

King of Pentacles

Death

Ace of Cups

10 of Pentacles

The Magician

It has allowed me to express my past, present, and hopes for the future. I’ve been able to explore my own identity, relationships, and connection to my path through the creation of this deck. As it stands now, it is nearly half completed, and I’m hoping to finish it by the end of 2022.

There will be, I hope, more to come. I’ve given the blog a fresh look to reflect the journey I’ve been on, and the itch to get involved and to share my work again is there. Hopefully this one sticks around a bit longer than the last.
Until next time,
Maxwell

Ace of Cups: Redux

This is a revamp of an earlier spread I had posted, The Ace of Cups Tarot Spread. I’d been spending some time reflecting and feeling a bit unsure of where to go next with my life, and so I’ve restructured the original spread to be a little bit more suited to my needs.

So, just like the original spread, we start with the Ace of Cups in the center of the spread to act as a significator.

1. What obstacles do I currently face in the path to meaning and fulfillment?
2. Where do I currently stand? What is the environment I’m in? Does it help or hinder me?
3. What action must be taken to overcome the obstacle?
4. What things in my life give my life meaning? What makes me feel fulfilled?
5. What in my life does not make me feel fulfilled, but rather leaves me feeling lost, hopeless, or numb?
6. How can I best fill my life with more meaning? Where should I seek it out?
7. What things must I release in order to make room for the more fulfilling things?

Please let me know if you use and enjoy the spread!

Blessings,
Ren

Connecting with the Wylde Hunt

Friday’s @2019grimoirecchallenge prompt deals with connecting with Otherworldly energies and working with them in spiritual practice. By now, I’ve made it sort of clear which spirits and the like I work closely with, so this post is dedicated to the Wylde Hunt and my experiences working with them.

So, briefly: The Wylde Hunt is a phenomena that occurs across northern and western Europe, and in some parts of North America. It’s characterized by spectral figures, horses, or hounds which ride through the night and generally create some chaos and terror. What it is they’re hunting or changing depends upon the myth you’re reading- in fact a lot of the elements of the hunt vary depends upon the version of the story you’re dealing with. It can include fae, fallen heroes, gods, spirits of the dead, etc. etc. I go a bit more into detail on this in this post here.

My particular Wylde Hunt seems mostly to be human spirits and fae. Goblins are sometimes included in that, and they’re all led by a horned deity that up until very recently I was referring to as Herne, but who has come to be known by a different name, which is mine alone to know.

My work with them started back in October of 2011. I was working on homework the one night and got this sudden and urgent nudging to go outside. I ignored it for probably a good twenty minutes, like “No. I need to finish my homework…” But it persisted, so I grab some tarot cards and a pendulum and head outside. And standing at the firepit in our yard is this beautiful white tail doe. And she stares at me, and we kinda stand there for a bit… and then I gently creep closer… and she bounds off away to stand over on this hill near the tree I usually leave offerings at. So we stare at each other again… and then I gently creep closer once more, until off she bounds into the northwest and disappears into the trees.

Now, this hill was where I was intending to go in the first place; I was really fixated on dragons and leylines and thought there was going to be a connection there or something, but now I was fixated on this deer and the forest- like I could feel her still watching me from the tree line. And the name Wild Hunt kinda… came to me. I’m sure I’d read it in passing a few times; I’d recently started my journey with Celtic paganism, so it was likely it’d come up. But I didn’t have any real prior knowledge or interest in it- until this point. So, I break out the cards and the pendulum, and that becomes the answer I get for the question: “Who’s trying to contact me? / Who has a message for me?”

So I start to do research, and most sources recommend not contacting the Hunt at all, because, well, they’re sort of notorious for being dangerous. But I decide that I’m going to reach out and figure out what they want: so I go back to the hill a couple days later and I say “If you wish for me to work with you, if this is a partnership you’re seeking, let me see crows or ravens within a week’s time.” Crows and ravens are my sort of sign that something is afoot magically speaking, and they’re relatively common in our area. So, when suddenly there’s no sign of them for 6 days… I’m getting worried.

Halfway through the 7th day: I’m waiting for my mom to pick me up from retaking the ACT, and there’s suddenly a whole murder of crows behind me making a whole bunch of noise. And I’m like “Woah. Okay. I hear you.” And I look back towards the parking lot, and beyond it, there’s a hawk or falcon or something that comes up from the forest there, does maybe three circles, and then dips back down into the trees.

It took some time for me to really figure out how they were going to become a part of my practice. Their leader was my patron deity, so that wasn’t so hard to figure, but The Hunt itself is another thing altogether. Like anyone with any real knowledge of fae, I’m reasonably skeptical when it comes to just swearing allegiance to things, making deals, etc. They seemed to enter my life at the most inconvenient times: right when things were tumultuous and changing dramatically. At some point I realized that was probably the point.

In the video post linked above, I discuss my beliefs as to what they are and what purpose they sort of serve in the grander scheme of things: essentially they are psychopomps and agents of necessary destruction and change. They shake things up and carry you from one state of being to the next. When I realized this, they quit being quite as scary.

It was October of 2014, I believe, that I really properly dedicated myself to The Hunt in a formal sense. I had made a poppet to represent myself and taken it under the Hunter’s Moon out into the grove where we did much of our spellwork and gathering. I left it there in the crook of an oak at the center of the grove, I made offerings of alcohol and incense to them, and I swore myself to their service, which included:

• Maintaining my altar and sacred space as a place for them to rest and visit. Essentially, I entered into a mutual bond of hospitality: when I did journeying work, I often visited their camp. They also were welcome at my hearth.
• Creating poetry and artwork which focused on their myths and legends as well as my own new experiences with them. I took up the mantle of their bard, and you’ll notice I still write quite a bit of poetry inspired by them.
• Working with them through periods of change. When I need help to clear the way; when I find myself getting stuck in a rut. I call on them. It’s amazing how much more controlled change can be when you willingly yield to it rather than fighting it. I also became interested in taking a similar role myself: in helping others through periods of transitions. I intend to undertake celebrant training with the OBOD following the completion of the Bardic Grade to work rituals for funerals, weddings, etc. I want to be help in those periods of transition for other people.
• Developing skills related to hunting, outdoorsmanship, etc. I’ve casually taken up archery as a skill I want to learn. I’ve tried to educate myself whenever possible about things in my local environments: trees, wildlife, stars and the cycles of the seasons. The more I understand, the closer I feel to them. This has also included trying to be more conscious about what things I leave as offerings, recycling, using less energy, etc. to help mitigate at least a little harm done to the environment, and to vote in favor of policies that will benefit and help the natural world. That last part feels more important than ever these days.
• Riding with the Hunt. I’ve mentioned already that I do journeying and visualization work. Some of it includes riding with the Hunt. This bullet point also includes my beliefs about my afterlife- that I will join them following the end of my life, and ride with them forever more.

These are the terms of my working with them, and are by no means the terms everyone should or would want to seek out.

I contact them in a number of ways but some off the top of my head are:

• Taking hikes in the forest.
• Leaving offerings of whiskey, dried meats, or bread.
• Drumming.
• Reading my poetry aloud somewhere like my backyard or the forest.
• Calling to them in ritual work.
• Visiting their camp in my journeying work.
• Lighting a candle for them on my altar.

My advice when approaching any entities be they gods, fae, angels, whatever is this: DO YOUR RESEARCH. Know what exactly it is you’re working with, how people have historically interacted with these beings, what sort of tales exist about them, what offerings are common, etc. BE RESPECTFUL! Just like you’d probably be pretty polite and considerate when meeting a new friend or potential employer, you want to be polite and respectful of the powers that be. BE YOURSELF. Don’t go posturing or doing anything unnatural though. They have a sense of humor, and there’s a difference between being polite and serious about what you’re doing and taking yourself too seriously.

Best of luck, and forest blessings,
Rachel

Why Magic Flops

My boyfriend and I were talking earlier this morning, and the discussion inspired me to write this post. Currently, we’re in the waiting process of seeing which vehicle my parents are going to give me to move out of state with: my mom’s current SUV, or a minivan he just purchased from a friend of his. Having learned how to drive in my mom’s SUV, and being in my 20′s, I think which my preference is probably very obvious.That being said, I also will be grateful for whichever I end up with, and will make it work.

I said that I was going to do a little manifesting to get the outcome I desired, and he said to me: “We shall see, for now prep for the van.” And my boyfriend, bless him, is a realist. He’s the real logical type: doesn’t believe shit until he sees it, makes sure all the ducks are in a row before he acts, typical Virgo? (I joke, but you get the idea.) But I realized that that very way of thinking is behind a lot of the circle of chaos that went on in my life, and is the reason why spells sometimes just don’t fucking work.

Let me explain.

Magic operates on the principle of mind over matter. One sends their will and intention out into the Universe, and that ripples and creates changes in the real physical manifest reality. That’s why intent and focus are so important when working spell work. The idea is that you want to put as much energy and conviction behind that “X will happen” as you can muster. The stronger your force, the more likely it’ll be to happen.

But it’s not just during the spell that you have to maintain your intentions. For months and months and months I did work on gaining personal freedom and getting out of my parents’ house. In my rituals and visualizations, I was very sure and firm in my intent. But step outside the circle, and I was running myself ragged worrying about “what if this doesn’t work?” “what if my parents change their minds again?” “what happens if I don’t pass my driving test?” “what if I’m stuck here for another several months?” And those thoughts, the frantic planning for the worst case scenario or anything other than what I was trying to manifest was interfering with any of the work that I did in ritual.

However, the second I stepped back, breathed, and said “What happens, happens. I’m going to do what I can in the present and release all of my fears and worries for the future”… Well, that’s when the magic happened. I got my license. I was able to have civil conversation with my dad about a car. He got the extra car. Things are falling into place, and now I have a date for moving down to Georgia.

The trick is not in “planning for the worst and making sure your ass is covered”. Certainly, that’s a way to go about things, and I’m not saying you shouldn’t be prepared in the event that something goes completely awry. But, if you plan as though the best will happen, and do the work of making sure you’re doing everything on a non-magical level to get that outcome, and not panicking over the future or possible outcomes, success is much more likely.

This takes time. I still find myself worrying about “What if I can’t find a job down there once I move?” and “How will I pay my student loan payments if I can’t find a job right away?” Worrying about these things is normal- and I think very ingrained in our social upbringing these days.

One visualization I’ve been using is picturing myself standing on a cliff, looking out over a vast sea. In my hand is something that represents that worry: a bird, a paper airplane, a pile of pebbles, etc. And I take a deep breath, I reaffirm my intentions for a positive outcome, and for releasing the fear and worry that holds me back, and I release the bird, the rocks, whatever out over the cliff and into the sea. I know that it has been carried away from me and will no longer hinder my work of building a better future.

In conclusion: intent during the spell or ritual is important, but it’s also important to maintain that intent outside of the ritual space too. Otherwise, worry and fear act against you and sabotage all of your magical work.

Forest Blessings,
Rachel

Connecting With Star Energy

Another little something from the Tumblr #2019GrimoireChallenge.

A large part of my practice and spirituality revolve around my connection with stars. I have been fascinated with the night sky and space since I was a little kid, and I’ve always felt most “witchy” or “druid-y” while stargazing on a summer night, or realizing that a specific planet or constellation was overhead in the dead of winter.

It has always frustrated me to no end that there aren’t more books on the topic. Sure. We draw down the Moon or the Sun, but the stars are beautiful and powerful and good for something other than interpreting astrological information! Sandra Kynes wrote a really lovely book entitled Star Magic: The Wisdom of Constellations for Wiccans & Pagans which was sort of what really kicked my interest in incorporating stars into my regular practice. So here are some ways that I work with stars, and some ideas you may want to try.

Stargazing / Astronomical Knowledge: For me, the seasons are just as much about what stars I can see in the sky at a given time as they are about the weather and agricultural cycles. I follow NASA’s social media accounts, my local planetarium’s listings, and other stuff to keep track of things like meteor showers, which constellations or planets will be hanging out in the sky, eclipses, etc. I also take as many opportunities as possible to attend the planetarium’s programs. Last month I saw one about black holes. My boyfriend and I went to watch a documentary about Mars, and another about Saturn as date night ideas. It’s fun, you learn lots, and it deepens your understanding of the Universe, and your own local night sky.

Some stars have also been important for centuries and were named by ancient and medieval astronomers. Old alchemical texts suggest what these stars’ properties were and can provide another fun historical / scientific learning experience.

Drawing Down Star Energy: Just like one might draw down the Moon or Sun in ritual, you can totally draw down the stars, too! Some stars, as I mentioned above, were long associated with specific magical properties. You could find where they are in your night sky, and draw on them specifically for a particular spell. You could call, for example, on Polaris (The North Star) for guidance and clear direction. Maybe there’s a meteor shower situated in the constellation Orion; you could time your ritual so that you could draw on the warrior/hunter energies of that particular constellation to help you with a particular goal. Or, just let the silver, shimmery, peaceful light of the stars and the vastness of the Universe shine down on you and your energy.

Constellations / Star Symbols as Magical Sigils: I like to use the patterns of the constellations as sigils to charge my spells or to help myself through tough times. One I use a LOT is Orion; he represents for me a fighting spirit, perseverance, and is usually high in the sky when I’m at the peak of my seasonal depression episodes. It always felt like he’s been cheering me on, and so I will utilize that constellation pattern in work geared towards pushing through tough times. Some of the named stars also have symbols associated with them. I’ve used them in crafting sigils from time to time.

Making Tarot Spreads: I like to make tarot spreads to use based on the constellations as well. For this, I usually take into context the mythology behind the constellation as well as personal significance, and then come up with questions or information I’d want to receive from that particular energy. An example of one I made using the constellation Orion can be found here.

These are the specific ways I’ve been incorporating my love of the night sky into my practice. I’ve come across a book that reinterprets the constellations in context of The Mabinogion called Dark Land, Dark Skies: The Mabinogion in the Night Sky by Martin Griffiths. As a Druid, this book has been super exciting, because it makes for a sort of Celtic understanding of the constellations. It is a bit dense though as far as scientific language goes, so it’s been a slow read. It’s encouraged me to make up my own interpretations as well in relation to The Wylde Hunt- sort of a bit of creative fun! I’m also currently working on developing a sort of rune system using constellations, planets, and specific stars, but it’s not quite ready to be shared yet!

Do you work with stars? How do you bring them into your magical practice?

Happy Stargazing,
Rachel

The Elements as Frame of Reference- Or Why I Don’t Invoke the Quarters

This week’s #2019GrimoireChallenge prompts include a focus on the elements and other energies that we work with on our respective paths. Having finished up some of the work through the elements in both my OBOD coursework and in my re-reading of The Earth Path, I’ve been thinking much about the elements and how I work with them in my own path.

By the elements of course, I mean Earth, Air, Fire, and Water. They are used widely in the sphere of the neo-pagan community and have come to be sort of a staple for most people’s magical / spiritual education. Everything from astrology, to herbs, crystals, tarot suits, and more are typically associated with an element. There are countless charts of correspondences that you can find in almost any Wiccan / pagan book. For that reason, I’m not going to list any of them here.

For me, however, they are much less a staple of my practice and more of a means of understanding. Like the literal elements make up all of the matter in our world, the four (or five, if you include Spirit) elements make up the myriad of energies we experience. A sunset at the beach includes fire, yes, because of the sun, but you also have water present, the sandy earth, the cool breeze blowing from across the waves. A thunderstorm has water, the rain; air obviously as it takes place in the sky and the clouds, and sound is an important factor; and fire because of the heat that lightning brings. All of these elements are present in any one moment if you’re able to open your awareness to them. I prefer to deal with the energy as a whole- the energy and spirit of the beach at sunset, the energy of the storm as it rages through our little marshland neighborhood. It feels more like a complete picture, and a more dynamic one than focusing just on a singular element. They don’t often exist exclusively in the natural world, so why would I treat them as such in my practice?

I use the elements as a frame of reference for things like divination or astrology. Water signs are emotive and intuitive. Pentacles are associated with Earth and the qualities of stability and groundedness. In this way, they’re symbolic. They help to categorize energy and operate as a system of interpreting the cards, or the planetary alignments. I don’t however, use them often in spell work. I go for plants and crystals that fit my intention- and usually that’s an intuitive process of simply picking up items that seem to “feel right” for whatever I’m working on. Lavender doesn’t feel particularly related to the energies of air to me, but I’ll use it for cleansing or healing, or anything that needs a more gentle and soothing touch to it.

Because for me the elements are sort of a system of understanding, I also don’t partake of the very common practice of invoking them while setting up a circle for ritual space. In doing so, it’s usually assumed that you are calling upon those energies to enter the circle and balance it; so that they are all represented and working in harmony throughout your rite. Aren’t they already? If you’re in a natural space, you can see the fire as light from the sun, the earth beneath your feet, the moisture in the dewy grass, the air moving about you. Even indoors you can: fire- light and heat from your home, air blowing from said furnace or a fan, moisture in the air for water- perhaps literal water you brought into your circle, earth as the stone or wood or whatever floorboards beneath you. Heck, even your body has all of the elements. There’s a chant that goes “Earth my body, water my blood, air my breath, and fire my spirit…” So without even invoking those quarters, I see them as all already being present and already working in some relative harmony.

Because my circle is sacred protected space, and because I choose safe places to enact my rituals, I also don’t think I need to invoke the quarters as watchtowers or to guard my circle in anyway. I’m not worried about random people or random spiritual nonsense coming in and mucking up my rite; I’ve drawn a circle and picked a safe space for working.

I also don’t buy into the notion that invoking them helps to tune one in to the directional orientation of one’s location. If I’m setting up to do ritual in a place, I’ve gotten to know it before hand, and it’s likely a place I visit often. I do call for peace to the four directions, so I will have looked at a compass or something before starting to know where north, south, east, and west are too. Calling quarters for that reason seems, for me, a bit redundant and unnecessary.

That isn’t to say it doesn’t work for most people! By all means, if you really like calling the quarters and focusing on individual elements, go right ahead! But I do encourage you to try it once or twice: focusing on the big-picture energy of something in nature instead of a singular element, or creating a ritual where you don’t invoke the quarters. See what happens! One of the most important parts of a magical or spiritual practice is knowing what does/n’t work for you, and having an informed reason as to why.

Forest Blessings,
Rachel

The Sacred Hearth: The Importance of Fire in my Path

I’ve been on a bit of a creative streak the past few days. In addition to a new YouTube video, and a number of Tumblr posts, I’ve been working on a personal digitization of my thirteen years’ worth of study. I’m unfortunately not able to share that particular project because of the number of things not properly sourced in it, but I can share some of the ideas that come from it, and the original writing that goes into it.

This particular post is going to deal with fire and more particularly the hearth fire. Some weeks back, I’d made a post detailing my “must-haves” as far as tools of my practice go. In it, I included the lantern which I hold a space for on my altar in honor of my moon goddess, but I realized that I had failed to include something of equal importance as I was working on my larger grimoire project: my small “hearth” which is represented by a miniature chiminea candle holder and a more literal hearth that I carved out of Sculpey to represent the hearth shrine I have within my sacred inner space.

For centuries the hearth or the need-fire was a central part of the household and community. Fire kept predators at bay. It provided warmth, comfort, and light. It provided the heat necessary to perform the alchemy of cooking or preparing medical remedies. It was a gathering place; a place where music, stories, and wisdom were shared among members of the community. And, to an extent, this is still true today. Who doesn’t feel warm and inexplicably at peace and connected while around a bonfire, sitting beside a fireplace, or while cooking in the kitchen? Our modern hearths are a little different, but their sense of sacred energy remains the same.

For me, a large part of my devotional path with the Wylde Hunt revolves around the hearth. I light a candle in the little chiminea at the beginning of ritual. I bring fire there when I’m sitting down to meditate or study. I offer a spot beside the fire in my sacred space for my gods and guides, to share that peace and warmth, to hear their wisdom, to share my music and poetry with them.

The candle holder in question reminds me also of an oven or a forge, and the power fire has to transform matter. Alchemy takes place in the flames, and food or metal is shaped and fired into something new. So I light my candles there also to bring about that power: of turning knowledge gained into wisdom and practice. To forge ideas and energy into manifested results.

How do you represent fire in your sacred space? Which energies of fire do you honor?

Forest Blessings,
Rachel

Thinking About: My Neo-Paganism

Today, I was forwarded an article by Sarah Anne Lawless, titled “For Sale: Neopganism ‘As Is'”. It’s a powerful read, and I do recommend you head over and give it a look if you haven’t seen it floating about the good ol’ neopagan / witchy online community already. I won’t expound too much upon the details within the article. This is meant to be a response to it, not a review or criticism of it. In this poignant work of prose, Sarah Anne Lawless calls attention to the misinformation, lack of consistency, and abuse facing the community at-large.

Some of the information presented: about the origins of the religious and spiritual movements I have been / currently am a part of, about some of the abuse within the community, about the incorrect ‘historical’ information that is often given in widely published books on the topic, was not foreign to me. I spent a great deal of time in my under-grad applying my newly-acquired skills of research to that which was near and dear to my heart: my spirituality.  Some of the information was new, and I admit I was a little heart-broken to hear so many stories of abuse and manipulation associated with something that has brought me so much joy, learning, and purpose in life.

With the negativity floating about in the rest of the world and with as entrenched into the neo-pagan community as these issues seem, it feels very easy to become dejected and hopeless. I don’t want to let that get me down; I want to use it as a motivation for change.

My response to this article is not to review it and dissect it, but to acknowledge that there are real problems that I as a young adult within the community, as a blogger, as a person capable of speaking out about these things want to work to change- and must change if I want the neo-pagan community to be a safe place in the future for myself, for my friends, and for the future generations.

I wanted this post to be a promise to myself, to those who follow this blog, and those affected by my actions within the community:

This is a promise that I will be one-hundred percent honest in the historical context of my spiritual traditions. That I will not willing spread mis-information, and work to correct it should I accidentally do so. That my study will be not of just mass-produced books touting appropriation and misinformation as “ancient tradition” but tempered with actual research, and acknowledgement of what I was inspired by and what is of my own creation. I will not stand for blatantly appropriative behavior in the community. We can share and be inspired by one-another without claiming something as our own.

This is a promise that my neo-paganism is centered in nature-centric and animistic beliefs, and that it honors the past without attempting to claim it. It is a promise that sex and sexuality, while natural, are honored and treated appropriately. I will not stand for sexual abuse in our community. I will not stand for manipulation and abuse of any sort within our community.

This is a promise that my blog and the spaces that I hold on the internet are, and will continue to be safe spaces for people regardless of age, sex, gender, race, etc.

This post stands as an acknowledgement that I am not, and never have been perfect. Humans make mistakes. Well-meaning people spread things without realizing the effect. But this is a promise that I will continue to try and do better in the future.

Let’s make our community better. Let’s get back to the things that matter: personal spiritual growth and caring for one another and our world.

Forest Blessings,
Rachel

Tools of the Trade: My Must-Haves

I want to preface this post by saying that tools and all of the props and decor are not at all necessary for a fulfilling and powerful magical and spiritual practice. What follows are simply my personal beliefs and the tools that have become essential in my own practice. Below are my “must-haves”: the things that I have come to feel are an integral part of how I follow my spiritual path. I won’t include things like candles, herbs, crystals, etc. because they seem a little obvious and

Drums: I’d been on a hunt for a proper hand drum for ages before finally finding mine in the autumn of 2016. Yes, trance work can be done with chanting, mantras, rattles, etc. I admit that there were things I could have done in the meantime, but found that old baggage about how my voice sounds and personal preferences were holding me back (things I’ve since released). The drum is primal, ancient, earthy. The ability to disappear into the trees and lose myself in a rhythm has been the most cathartic gift to self ever.

Athame/Dagger: I began my path with Wicca, in which the Athame, or ritual dagger, holds a great deal of symbolism. My first was actually nothing more than a letter opener, as the Athame is usually not supposed to be sharp. It was something I maintained in my magical arsenal for a long time simply because a) I liked the aesthetic of it, and b) I was the only one in my group of witchy friends who owned one. It was sort of a group-use tool that got brought out for big rituals, but sat on my altar collecting dust otherwise.

A camping trip in 2013, shortly after my journey with the Wylde Hunt had begun really changed the use of the dagger for me. By then, I’d turned 18 and purchased a blade with a bit of an edge to it. Unfortunately, we’d forgotten to pack any form of scissors or utility blade for cutting rope, opening the packages of the food we’d brought, etc. Faced with this dilemma, I came to the conclusion: If a member of the Wylde Hunt was placed in a similar situation, they’d undoubtedly use the blade they had- ritualistic or not.

Ever since the blade has served both purposes for me. It is both there for the ritual symbolism, and a practical tool. Its edge cuts cords and other spell components, primarily. I don’t really do much actual hunting and, thankfully, have never needed to use it for any manner of defensive measures.

Vessel: Speaking of tools meant mostly for utility purposes: I always keep some manner of bowl/vessel/etc. on my altar. It acts as a containment for water for ritual purposes, acts as a place to put offerings when performing rites indoors, and a safe place for sage bundles and the like when cleansing.

Divination Tools: My spiritual practice began with an interest in divination and it has remained an invaluable tool in my life. Tarot, runes, and a scrying mirror make up the main of my divination practice, though I focus most on tarot. Divination, for me, is both a means for communicating with the divine / universal energies, and recognizing patterns in mundane matters of my life.

The Lantern: This is the newest tool on the list in terms of its integration into my spiritual practice. After several months of being bombarded in meditations with images of a moon goddess carrying such a lantern, I finally purchased one to place upon the altar. I light this lantern at the beginning of each working and during my study sessions. For me, it is the light of this mysterious goddess guiding me through the dark and murky parts of life. It is a light of guidance, inspiration, hope- an urge to keep going.  It is lit in devotion of the goddess in hopes that her light might show me the way.

And that pretty much concludes my list of “essentials” for my own practice! What sort of tools do you find most important in your practice? What sort of uses do they have? Leave comments below!

Forest Blessings,
Rachel

Thinking About: Personal Deities

This is a topic I’ve been wanting to take on for some time, but have been unable to find the proper words to do so- perhaps there never really are any. Something I’ve been working on over the past year or so is my relationship with deity. For several years, I’d defined myself and my path by them: “I’m a devotee of Herne the Hunter” or “I worship the Goddess Cerridwen” etc. I spent countless hours reading and re-reading myths, researching, learning, reaching out…

And over time had my own experiences that I then would try to rationalize against the mythologies. “I experienced x, is it y trying to contact me? How do I know?” I see these questions posted all over the online pagan communities- as though you were going to a doctor. List the symptoms, and someone will hopefully be able to tell you what it is you have. List your experiences and maybe someone who’s been practicing and studying longer than you will know the god or goddess who matches.

But when is a raven a messenger of Odin rather than a messenger of Bran or The Morrigan- or none of those at all? What if all signs point to Cerridwen, except this handful of experiences that don’t match anything in the established lore and practice of those already worshiping her? Does it matter? Does it make it less valid? How does one justify it?

What if, as it happened to me in the springtime of last year, you are faced with the divine who is such a myriad of things that she seems not to be able to fit in any one goddess’s body of myth?

The goddess in question appeared to me in several dreams and meditations cloaked in the deep blue of the starry night, half her face in shadow the other luminescent and beautiful like the moon. She carried in one hand a staff of birch that held a silvery sickle-moon crescent, and in the other a lantern that cast a cool blue light. She was a guardian of the cauldron, a washer of the ford, a wanderer in the mists, the cold kiss of death, the hands that wove the stars… And though I saw her face echoed in the stories of Morrigan, Cerridwen, Arianrhod, Hel, Artemis… I could not attribute a single one of these goddesses to her.

For a time, she worried and confused me. Who was she? I wanted to find an answer in a book or a blog post, or some obscure myth in fragment over the tides of history. The more I looked, the more pointless the search became, but still she called to me more than any deity ever had, and I knew I must answer her call.

I moved away from myth and tradition- though they have their place as things to honor, to draw inspiration from, to find guidance in- and started to simply interact with deity in the way it presented itself to me. What I have found is something more deep, profound, and personal than any relationship I’ve ever had. There is a goddess I worship whose name has, perhaps, only been whispered on my lips. She guides me in the darkness.

A similar issue had arisen during college with my relationship with the Horned God. There was a darker side to the Hunter that I did not find present in existing myths, and I tried fruitlessly to pinpoint: Is it Herne, or some other being I work with? Now it does not matter. He appears to me dragon scaled or clad in a cloak of feathers, his eyes dark like the soil or the midnight sky, and like the Lady with the Lantern, he has names that only I call him, and my path is all the richer.

I guess what I am saying is that it is perfectly fine to connect with particular gods and goddesses, to reach for them or find inspiration and connection within the stories that exist about them. It’s more than okay to try and follow traditions and old ways and rationalize. But there’s something deep and rich and worth exploring, in not worrying about the who’s and why’s and letting the divine express themselves to you in the ways that they wish.

Blessings of the Forest, Frost, and Moon,
Rachel